Secrets

Ok- So I know we all have them. I have found out the hard way that when your other half is keeping a lot of them and you don't know what they are exactly, and you get this little nervous twitch in your stomach it probably isn't anything good. So it's time for me to let some of my secrets go. The last couple of years have been well just darn painful. I think I have grown from them. I hope I have learned from them because I don't plan to repeat the last couple of years in the future. So I guess the biggest secret that I have is that Joe has moved out and we will no longer be married. We have 4 children that need to be raised so we are going to try and do that in a health way but separately. I never thought in a million years this would be me at 40 but here I am and it's time to start taking steps on my own. And to be quite honest I completely and totally believed that my marriage would be the one that worked. BUT when you find yourself in a relationship that has a third party involved you either turn the other cheek and learn to deal or you decide that you are worth far more than the value that has been placed on you. I am really surprised by how I have lived the last couple of years. Lets just say that you don't always react the you say you would when you find yourself in this position. Days keep passing though and life goes on and I firmly believe that we all make our own destine and mine just happens to be different than where I started. I certainly don't want to look back at my life and be the bitter old women that could never forgive, or spent my days angry and unhappy because of someone else's choices that I just couldn't live with. So I am instead going to look at all the wonderful things in my life. I have 4 beautiful kids, a beautiful home, a job I love, good friends that are taking care of me and picking me up when I stumble and a belief that even if I never find my prince life is good and I am going to be just fine:) So that is my secret of the day. Far easier to write about it at this point than talk about it. So as the story goes, "I get a little bit stronger every day". Oh and my unsolicited advice of the day just happens to be... If you have those secrets they tend to eat you up inside and after awhile tear you down and either side of the secret isn't a healthy one so deal with them. They don't go a way just because you keep it a "secret".